Adoption issues finally
explained - it's about time...,
February 17, 2002
Reviewer:
Darcel Mailloux from
Cobram, Victoria, Australia
Adoption Nation is superbly researched
and concisely written with a sensitivity
that is finely balanced. It is a textbook
for birth parents, adoptees, adoptive
parents and facilitators alike. If we
have learned as a result of reading this
book, then Pertman has achieved a
remarkable goal - a more enlightened
society that can work towards a greater
understanding and acceptance of adoption.
As a birth mother who searched for her
son for 20 years, I understand only too
well the anguish and despair that so many
women suffer on this journey through a
minefield of social expectations and
misconceptions. As a birth mother who has
reunited with her son and has experienced
the most profound joy, I acknowledge the
fears of adoptive families and the need
to support and educate those who still
cannot fathom the intricacies of adoption
and the negative fallout that can occur.
Adam Pertman's, Adoption Nation, is a
definitive resource focusing on the true
realities surrounding adoption. As he
explains in depth, the keys to
understanding the adoption
"triad" are love, tolerance and
patience along with the willingness to be
educated regarding the effects of
technology in today's world.
Pertman attacks the myths of adoption;
that birth mothers, on the whole, never
want contact with the children they were
willing to give away, that birth fathers
have never wanted access to their
children, that adoptive parents will
never cope with their fear that their
adopted children will search for their
birth parents and then abandon the
families chosen for them. He has chosen
in this book to challenge "accepted
practice and belief" that shame and
guilt are the basic premises birth
parents must accept and that secrecy and
sealed records are viable and acceptable
for adoptees. Basic human rights are at
issue here and Pertman explores these
rights.
The changing face of social
expectation needs to encompass the rights
and emotional needs of all involved in
the adoption process. If adoption is
about finding babies for childless
couples, it also needs to be about
acknowledging the grief and anguish birth
mothers experience in relinquishing their
children. It is time to confront the
issues and discuss adoption openly, not
keep it buried as it has been for several
generations. Politically, it is time for
change as well; adoptees, regardless of
their origins, should never be denied
their basic human rights. If the average
citizen has the civil right to their
birth certificate so should adoptees have
the same basic right.
Slowly, the changing face of adoption,
is allowing those involved, directly and
indirectly, the opportunity to assess and
accept the life forces that operate here.
Those who search for answers are vastly
assisted by access to information
previously unattainable before the advent
of computer technology. Greater openness
has allowed the participants choices,
which previously, were never an option.
The consequences and conflicts that have
arisen as a result are not unsolvable
when time and dedication to positive
change are ultimate goals.
Adam Pertman's answers to this life
phenomenon are that with patience,
persistence and acceptance, anything is
possible