From Publishers Weekly
About three years ago, the author and her husband, both Jewish, adopted a male baby at birth. Their child, whom they named Ari, was the birth son of two 18-year-olds, a Mexican-American mother and an African American father. In this candid memoir, Wolff relates her mixed feelings about bringing up a child from a different cultural background. Although she deeply loves her son, she is concerned that a biracial adoption may have made his future life harder. She also discusses her fears?groundless, it turns out?that Martie, the birth mother, would return to claim her child. Although the author's frankness is disarming and she has bravely made the decision to maintain contact with Martie and to allow her to visit Ari, she makes sometimes harsh or patronizing judgments about Martie's life choices. Wolff's commitment to her son comes across here as absolute, but she makes clear she harbors many ambivalent emotions about the adoption that will be of interest to other adoptive parents of biracial children.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.--

Tapestry Books
"What a great book! You won't be able to put it down." Sharon Roszia calls this "An insightful, totally honest must-read." Betty Jean Lifton says: "Jana Wolff takes the myth and denial out of adoption and uncovers its real secrets." Jamie Lee Curtis says: "This is a wonderful book." Adoptive Families magazine calls it: "Truly a treasure...the book identifies with poignancy and humor the very real and complex emotions of adoption."

Book Description
This fiercely honest and funny book answers questions no one else dares to ask: What if I don't like the kid I get? Will my child ever feel like mine? If this is the happiest day of my life, why am I so sad? Will she want the baby back? Will I want to return him? The book garnered rave reviews from Betty Jean Lifton, Jamie Lee Curtis, Cathy Guisewite, Adoptive Families of America, San Francisco Chronicle, and hundreds of readers. New, revised edition now in paper.

She read my mind!, July 24, 2002

I can't express just how much I absolutely loved this book! I have, since reading it, let 2 friends read it and they totally agreed. Jana Wolff was courageous enough to say things in her book that I was afraid and embarrassed to say out loud. I have been contemplating adoption and had a fear of "what if I can't love that child like my own?". After reading her book I realized that that was a normal fear. At one point she aks, "What if he's a dud?" I laughed and almost cried because I felt so bad about admitting that I want a beautiful child, someone who resembles us and what if the child is just so totally different from us, what then? Another reviewer mentioned that she was offended by her foul language and negative thoughts. Well guess what? Thinking about adoption is like a rollercoaster ride, you have negative thoughts one minute and elated thoughts the next. It is NORMAL. Every adoptive mother that I have spoken to has told me that they felt the same way. That is why I absolutely recommend this book, not just to women who are contemplating adoption, but to mothers in general. Thank you Jana Wolff for writing such an awesome book!